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From: Neil Macomber

To: A/%$$%

Subject: Stray thoughts at midnight

Dearest Brother,

I admit that I am finding it very difficult to believe in a loving God under these circumstances. Why would a loving God inflict such pain and suffering on good, kind people? If truly there is a personal God... how can He be the same God who will subject those children to such unbearable pain? I remember all the answers we were taught, yet none of them seem believable now.

I don't want to stand in front of people and preach something that I don't feel in my heart. Better to have doubts than to be a hypocrite. And yet I also cannot deny the experience that led me to this vocation. So what is the truth? Perhaps it is that I neglected the mystery of God, used "He moves in mysterious ways" as an excuse rather than as the terrifying acknowledgment it truly is. Perhaps I made God too human.

If the universe has a purpose, that does not mean that it revolves around us. A sobering thought, but are we not supposed to be humble in the face of the divine?

With love,

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